The Guide to being an "Abusive Fan"

A couple weeks ago, SIoncampus.com published an article concerning the acts of abusive fans and how their actions might be getting out of control. To read the article and see some of the signs they deemed as "too far", just click right over here.

Now, granted I don't go as far as some of these student sections do (cell phones are off limits), but I do enjoy my share of random generic chants toward other players and signs poking fun at anyone or anything you can find.

The thing is, anyone can be a heckler. It can be the new freshman at his first basketball game to that forty year season ticket holder who still hates a team for a shot they hit 25 years ago.

However, it takes some real creativity to turn some players heads and actually make a difference in a game.

So below, I have enlisted the ways to be the most effective in your heckling of opposing teams:

1) Know The Line: If you are going to make a difference, you have to know where the line is and be sure not to cross it. Some places, you cross that line and you won't be back anytime soon. Others and you might get eaten after the game is over if you lose. Knowing the line is important, because that way, you can stand on it and be scott free. For Example, this Steven Hill of Arkansas sign.. is just a little over the line while this Billy Donovan poster... is just down right funny.


2) Somehow Tie Current Events to a Team: Knowing what's going on in the world always makes it easier to heckle teams. Commercials, Hollywood, and National News are always good places to look for things to make a difference in the game. For example, we all remember the E-trade commercials with the talking baby buying stock, which brought about this beauty below about Andy Kennedy of Ole Miss: And you can always talk up your own team if the shoe fits, ex. Justin Knox of Alabama's number is actually 40, so this fit perfectly...

3) Use Every Possible Search Option at Your Fingertips: There is plenty of stuff out there for you to search for. Online Media Guides are always great to discover nicknames or embarrassing stats from High School. Does the player have a brother on another team? Ex. Ben Hansborough plays for Miss. St. His brother, Tyler, is an All-American at North Carolina
Are they from another country? Ex. AJ Ogilvy of Vandy is from Australia
Does the other team always seem to get the recruits you team wants? Ex. Miss. St., just 86 miles from Tuscaloosa.
Did someone get destroyed last time they played you by one of your players? Ex. Lucas Hargrove of Auburn getting posterized by Alabama's Senario Hillman. YouTube it, it was nasty.
And of course, there is always Google. Any crazy picture can be found of any athlete or concerning any particular school. Here is a combination of #2 and #3 which never made it to the floor because it was deemed "inappropriate": and then I used each color of the rainbow to color in the word Auburn. Ok, so maybe it was over the top, but it was ingenious.

4) Forget Traditional Posterboard: Anyone can write a silly limerick on a poster, but to be really effective, it has to be big. The way to get it big is to actually print out your signs. This is where Kinko's enters the picture. Every sign done over the past two years and displayed at the bottom of this post was printed off at the local Kinko's for a very low price in black and white. And it has to be big. For example, this picture right here... was 5 feet by 3 feet tall in all its glory. You know your poster works when it stops a coach coming out of losing at halftime right in his tracks and he gives a "Yea, I remember her" smile. I bet you do, Bruce, I bet you do.

5) Whiteboards: That's right. I am letting people in on my little secret for being the most effective. Whiteboards. By having a whiteboard, you can write almost anything you want that doesn't cross the line. Game stats, drawings, or anything random that comes to you during the game or happens during the game can be referenced on a whiteboard. Who knows, maybe you might end up as one of SI's Superfans of the Week.... Nothing like getting an actual baby doll when going up against LSU and Glen "Big Baby" Davis.

So there you have it, five easy steps to be an "Abusive Fan." And don't worry, by doing the things above, you won't be seen as an abusive fan, but more so as a student doing their job. You are there to give your team a home court advantage, so why not be sure to do the best job you can.

Free-throws coming at an expense for Tide

Everyone who has played basketball from the time the goal had a "little tikes" label and the ball was rubber knows the importance of making your free throws. It's one of the most important aspects of the game, especially if you want to win. It's how we finished practice in church league, middle school and high school. Flat out, they are called free throws for a reason. However, they aren't exactly coming as easy as free may imply for the 2007-08 edition of the Alabama Crimson Tide. It was never more evident than during Alabama's second half collapse against the Florida Gators last Tuesday night.

Leading by seven at halftime, the Tide endured a 14-point swing before going down 90-83. The Tide missed seven free-throws in the second half and eleven in the game, shooting a dismal 57% for the game. That showing isn't exactly a rarity this season for Alabama, as they have only made 60% of their free throws this season. That's the best in the state...as far as the SEC goes, as Alabama is 11th and Auburn is 12th in the conference in free throw percentage.

Alabama is at least lucky to have Auburn in their conference, because nationally, its much worse.

The Crimson Tide is one of 328 teams in Division-I NCAA Men's Basketball. Out of all those teams, Alabama ranks 311th in the country in free throw percentage. Three Hundred Eleventh! There are more teams between Alabama and #1 Florida State than there were people in my graduating class from my high school, and I went to a 6A school! To put it short, Alabama is abysmal from the charity stripe.

In 16 games, Alabama has only had a better free-throw percentage than four teams all season. The Tide has shot below 50% three times this season, as well as only shooting 52% against Texas A&M and 53% against Georgetown, both losses. The Tide's season low is 38% against Southeastern Louisiana, a game the Tide had to go to overtime to win.

Said Richard Hendrix after the Florida game, "It's very frustrating. I've been in a slump all season long." The slump Hendrix is speaking of is following his 12-21 night from the line against Florida. "All in all, it was a rough night."

It has been a rough season for Alabama from the line, and for any hopes of a NCAA tournament berth, the percentage from the line must get better. The Tide will look to improve their free throw shooting on the road on Sunday, January 13th, 2007 against the Arkansas Razorbacks, who are shooting 68% from the free throw line this season themselves.